Rule 10: Know Your Cycle!
Put a red dot on the calendar to avoid a red smudge on your pants.
Don’t be that woman that’s always blindsided by their menstrual cycle. No grown woman should have to go around pleading for pads (or ‘lady’s personals’ as my mom called them), letting everyone know it’s that time of the month. Knowing yourself means knowing your body and the way it functions. A stranger telling you to check your pants shouldn’t be your first hint your period is starting.
Know the changes that occur before your period actually starts. Some clues are swollen sensitive breasts, abdominal and back pain, changes in your mood…the lists goes on.
Know your flow. Knowing the amount you typically bleed can help you pick the right ‘lady’s personal’ to use. Should you be using panty liners or super long pads? Should you change your pad every few hours or every couple hours? This helps you avoid stains on your panties and sheets.
I know this is gross, but know the typical look and even smell of your period blood. The changes in texture, color, and even smell can tell you a lot about your vaginal health.
If you can tell me when the next season of your favorite show starts but draw a blank when you its time to predict your next period…there’s a problem.
Out of all the rules, this one is probably the easiest. Get to know your body…no you don’t have to go into the bathroom with a hand mirror…just pay attention and be aware.
Woman Chat: Pee to Prevent Pregnancy?
Can you prevent pregnancy if you pee after sex?
Let’s go through the thought process from the tip…top
When you have sex, the penis ejaculates a few inches inside the vagina. When your partner ejaculates, the sperm moves fast from the semen through the cervix to the eggs.
Keep in mind, you don’t pee from your vagina. So you are not actually rinsing the sperm out of your vagina. You pee from your urethra and the sperm in your vagina (they are not in the same place)
When you pee, semen comes out due to force and gravity. Remember semen is only the liquid containing the sperm cells that can get you pregnant. Less semen inside, less sperm cells, so…less likely to get pregnant. Don’t forget there are already millions of sperm that escaped that semen and are still racing to your eggs.
Will I recommend you rely on this method to prevent or reduce the risk of pregnancy?
Heeeeeck no. Think about this ladies. Your partner ejaculates about 500 million sperm into your vagina. It only takes one to get pregnant. When you pee, semen comes out, but the sperm moves fast from the semen to your eggs. You can’t outrun them with a race to the bathroom.
What’s the biggest myth you’ve heard to avoid getting pregnant?
Woman Chat: Pee After Sex
This is a simple routine that can help avoid a lot of stress. Pee after sex…
I know after he put it down, all you want to do is relax in his arms and fall asleep together. Before you do, take a trip to the rest room.
As you know, your vagina is very close to that black cherry…where a lot of unpleasant bacteria lives. When he tries to find the hole and finally gets in, some of that bacteria hops to his penis and right into your vagina and urethra. This is one way women get UTIs.
Don’t be grossed out, its just the way we’re made. Urinating after sex helps to clean the bacteria from the urethra before it’s able to multiply.
Simple right…so pee after sex.
You don’t want your butt in your vag.
Woman Chat: Wait On No Man!
This is how I “wait on no man”…
One of my favorite things to do, whether I’m in a relationship or alone, is to eat. I love going out, ordering my favorite foods on the menu, watching Netflix, and feasting.
My first time doing this was years ago. I was arguing with my ex and I looked out my window and saw a restaurant. I had been asking him to take me to this place for sooo long and even though t was right across from my apartment, I still haven’t been because I was waiting on him.
At that moment, a light bulb went off and I thought, “I want to be happy, and right now, eating will make me happy.” So, without thinking or planning, I walked into this place in jeans and a t-shirt, face red, eyes swollen from crying, only to realize…this place was a lot fancier than I thought. There were water falls at the entrance, waiters in ties, lit candles on tables, it was beautiful.
When I realized what I was actually doing, I wanted to turn around and run out the door. People were staring at the young girl with tears in her eyes at this romantic table alone, but I was determined to enjoy the moment. I ordered steak and fries and I just…ate. I ate in silence, no one rushing me, not trying to impress anyone, didn’t have to entertain anyone, I just enjoyed spending time with myself.
Doing something that simple, on my own, had a great impact on my opinion of myself. During that moment, I learned that I didn’t need anyone to enjoy myself. I love myself, I love the person I am, and even if I’m the only person in the room, I’m going to live it up. I also learned that just because a place is “fancy”, it doesn’t mean the food is good. I tipped the waiter very generously and I left that restaurant a much stronger woman.
Since then, I treat myself at least once a month with quality time with myself…a one person date night.
(Pictures above…left: Olive garden alfredo pasta, alfredo pizza, and house salad…right: Aladdin’s, chicken shawarma, pita bread, hummus, lebanese salad)
Rule 9: Wait on No Man!
Are you in the house feeling lonely, while your man is out chillin’ with his friends? Maybe you don’t have a man and you’re in bed feeling depressed.
STOP! Get up, get out of that Disney princess mentality, and do something for YOURSELF.
Don’t put your life on hold because you’re waiting on “Prince Charming” to kiss you and put a silver slipper on your foot. Until that man comes into your life, live yours. Go see that movie, grab your friends and “turn up”, go to your favorite restaurant and pig out. How is a man supposed to add to your life if you don’t give him something to add to?
A woman knows the value of a good man, but she also knows the value of being independent. You can be alone and happy at the same time.
Your actions control what you attract. If you’e a needy, weak woman…you attract men that want take advantage of that. A weak woman for a man is like the smell of blood for a shark. They can sense you a mile away, and will do whatever it takes to devour you.
Don’t sit around crying because you don’t have a man and stop playing Indiana Jones looking for one…focus on yourself.
Tips
– Make a list of what makes you happy…visualize it.
– Increase your self-esteem…you deserve happiness.
– Reconnect with your friends.
Rule 8: Don’t Be the Side Chick!
I think this should stated because it seems the media is leading us to believe something different.
Do not be the side chick / mistress. There’s no excuse for it and trust me, I’ve heard it all. I know you may be grown and you can do whatever you want but settling for being the side chick is not being a woman.
You will never be truly happy being the side chick. Yes, it’s easier on the surface. You don’t have to worry about having your heart broken, you don’t have to worry about being lied to, and you don’t have to deal with the hardships of an actual relationship. Blah…blah…blah. I don’t care how happy you and him are tricking you to believe, you’re sad in more ways than one if you settle for being the woman on the side.
I don’t care if the main chick is fine with it. She obviously has her own insecurities that she needs to deal with so please direct her to this blog. Just because she’s content dealing with that foolery doesn’t mean you have to be.
If you really like the guy, that’s even more of a reason not to be the side chick. Players on the sideline never become the VIP. Why should he ever want you as his main girl? You already proved that YOU know you aren’t worth a relationship or his respect because you aren’t even respecting yourself.
I don’t even know you and i can say for a fact that you are worth more than anything the side chick role may give you. Forget your insecurities or the self esteem issues that have led you to believe you don’t deserve a man for yourself. If you don’t value yourself, value the health of your vagina because dealing with someone you know for a fact is not monogamous is putting you in line for a STD.
Also remember, you lose them how you get them.
Woman Chat: Embrace Your Imperfections
One of the biggest issues most women, including me, face is body issues.
As a child, I was teased and constantly compared myself to other girls, which made me extremely envious and unhappy. It’s taken me 23 years, but now that I’m stepping into womanhood I’m taking control of my ‘self’ esteem and forcing a change. I’m done avoiding the mirror because I know I’ll be unhappy with what I see. The days of having an unrealistic expectation of my body based on the media are over. I will never ever ever ever question my beauty due to what I assume others feel about it.
My goal for the remainder of the year is to start to love my body and all of it’s so called ‘flaws’ because I won’t be getting a new one anytime soon so we might as well be friends, right.
The first step in this process is acknowledging what I see as flaws. So here it goes…my top 5 list of flaws (in no order, because that depends on the day)…
5. My little eyes. (Always got the typical Asian jokes and wanted a surgery to make them bigger.)
4. My lips. (I’ve been told both of them look like top lips.)
3. My boobs. (They’re small, and one is waaay bigger than the other.)
2. My stretch marks. (Had them since I was 13, makes me feel like a tiger.)
1. Drumroll please….my favorite flaw is my huge forehead or should I say fivehead. To this day, I get jokes about it. My forehead is my favorite flaw because it’s my most obvious one. I can’t hide it. I love it so much that I accent it. No bangs for me, I wear my hair pulled back everyday as if I’m challenging people to say something about. Yeah I have a big forehead….and…
What’s your favorite flaw?
Rule 7: Once You Dump Your Man, Dont Have Sex With Him Again!
Your ex is your ex for a reason.
Don’t have sex with an ex, especially if you don’t intend on restarting the relationship.
Would you eat a hot dog you threw in the trash? Would you take a shower and throw on the same dirty underwear? No. Then why would you double back to a past boyfriend?
It obviously didn’t work for a reason. He wasn’t right for you, he hurt you, so why does he deserve to have your body? You left the relationship, you still have your dignity. Why give that up? Maybe you dumped him out the blue, you didn’t think you were compatible, you cheated. Why hurt the man more by using him and giving false hope.
You made a decision, now stick to it. If you give him your body without giving him your heart, you’re making yourself look easy. You’re also making yourself look indecisive. You don’t know what you want, you’re easily manipulated and you’re slave to the peene. Not only that, but you’re also giving him the upper hand.
If you are feeling feisty, don’t call an ex, find a new man or handle it yourself.
Tips
– Stop and think, don’t make a decision you’ll regret.
– Remind yourself why it didn’t work with your ex.
– Spend your time working on a hobby to take your mind off him.
– Block and delete his number to resist the urge to text him.
– Depending on how you feel about it, spend a little time with yourself 😉
Woman Code Feature: Jenna
The Woman Code feature is our way to get to know the life, insight, and wisdom of every woman one post at a time.
Our first woman code feature is Jenna!
thequeenkalani: Tell me a little bit about yourself.
Jenna: I’m 24 years old living in St. Louis, MO. I grew up in the Chicago area, so between my family and work, I visit the Windy City once a month or so.
thequeenkalani: What do you do for a living?
Jenna: I’m a Public Relations Specialist at Unity Hospice of Greater St. Louis. Many people aren’t familiar with hospice – it’s a sector of healthcare that focuses on end of life care and delivering the highest quality of life to patients with terminal illnesses.
thequeenkalani: What are a few of your hobbies?
Jenna: I have 2 dogs, so they’re my main hobbies. When I do have free time I like to write, and especially read.
thequeenkalani: What is your favorite book and why?
Jenna: Reading is huge hobby of mine, so I can’t say – there’s too many! I’m a sucker for books that turn into movies (i.e. The Help, Hunger Games, Marley & Me). But one book that sticks out in mind is The Kite Runner. Also, my newfound favorites are Gone Girl and The Good Nurse.
thequeenkalani: Any projects you’ve been working on?
Jenna: Though this may not be considered a “creative project,” my current project is to experience every park in St. Louis (this ties in with my dogs) and to experience a new restaurant/cafe/bar in different neighborhoods of St. Louis.
thequeenkalani: What are some pieces of advice you would give a young girl?
Jenna: Don’t ever become jaded.
Strive to be intuitive and motivated at all times, and especially strong in your own mind and personality – don’t let others depict those things for you.
Allow others to inspire you to be a better you.
I stress “You” because it’s important to know You, as You are.
Never become dependent on someone else.
Learn more about Jenna from her blog http://jmatzer.wordpress.com/
If you would like to be the next woman code feature, simply like, comment, or follow on any post.
thequeenkalani 